'Tis the Season. Isn't it?

I really can't believe that Thanksgiving has come and gone, and here it is the notorious Black Friday (Dun dun dun). What I really want is to go get all my Christmas shopping done. However, I am pretty sure that my sweatpants might be mad if I abandoned them and left the house. So, here I sit and here I shall stay. At least until I can find the motivation to get going and do something with myself.

I have been really anxious this year for the Christmas season, and now here it is. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled, I just really want the sun to go away for a while and let winter take hold. I am so ready to wake up, look out the window, and see that first blanket of white covering the city. I feel like it is NEVER gonna happen. RAWR!!!! Maybe I will suggest to Terrence that we should go pick out our Christmas tree. Maybe that will balance out my disappointment in mother nature and her lack of fluffy white bliss here in the CO.

Dooms Day!

Let me begin by saying that Monday Funday was fun....mostly. First of all Sara Bareilles was AMAZING, and if and when she comes back I will be there. However I will not let a 30 dollar concert turn into a 200 dollar concert. Now, allow me to explain. We were running a bit late for the show and found a parking spot in a Wendy's parking lot. It seemed as though it was kosher to park there, people all around were parking there and heading towards the Ogdon (the theater where the show was). So I kicked the little voice in my head telling me not to park there and pulled on in. There was no one there taking money or giving out parking tickets so I convinced myself that it would be okay. So we get in the theater, begin our jam sesh and I allow my enjoyment to completely take over. This in itself was a wonderful thing because it had been far too long since I got to rock out to an artist that I love live! As the show went on, it got better and better. I was experiencing pure bliss. As the show wound down, I was beginning to feel the damage of standing for hours straight. As we were leaving the theater, I was already cursing my back for hurting and was eager to sit down in the car. Walking into the lot everything got a little foggy. As I look up, and see that my car is no longer where I had parked I hear a cloudy voice from behind jokingly say, "the car is gone." The gasp that followed the giggle was evidence that the joke, was not so funny accompanied by the realization of the truth. The car was gone. Needless to say, we had been towed, and I was pissed. I tried to tell myself that it would be okay and almost had myself convinced at this point. So I walk, even though I felt like stomping, over to the sign on one of the poles, dial the number and tell myself to, "be sweet." I really tried too. And I think I mostly succeeded, aside from one little closing remark of, "I hope you really love your job," to the man on the other end of the line. I mean really, you tow my car, and I am being reasonably nice to you considering my deep erg to curse you out and yet you are the one being a jerk wad! What the heck?

Anyway, it was going to be almost 300 buck-a-roos to get it out that night, if we made it there by midnight, and had it all in cash, so we had to wait until the next day to get it back. That night my uncle came and picked us up and Nessa and I drove back home in his car. I was so erked that night that I couldn't even sleep. When I finally did fall asleep it felt like a minute and then my alarm was going off. Awake and still wanting to punch a tow man, I started my day. We headed up to Denver that afternoon, cash in hand, and not wanting to fork it over. As we near the address that we were given to get the car back, we are realizing how sketch this area really is. We can't find the place so I call the number, he once again is a world class douche and I am trying hard to "be sweet," something that under circumstances such as these is REALLY difficult for me. We finally find it, and he is sitting there in front of this gate in a truck. We ask, "so how does this work?" His reply, "you hand me the money and I open the gate and you can get your car." At this point in time I am thinking what the heck??? How sketch can you be? You run an operation that requires me to hand you a substantial amount of money through your car window and in return I get my car. It felt like I was getting something illegal, not my car. This was seriously the most bizarre experience I have had in a while.

Well, to wrap it up, we got my car back and everything turned out to be okay. Aside from my anger issues about the hole thing that is. Note to self, and readers: Be very watchful of signs where ever you are parking. Trust me, you don't want to deal with this. It blows! 

Monday Funday!

So tonight is the Sara Bareilles show and I couldn't be more excited! I can't remember the last time that I got to go see someone that I really like and have always wanted to see live, and tonight I get to! Not only that, but it's girls night and that combined with the concert is enough to give Mrs. Jones here a perm-a-grin!!!

Hooray for girly music combined with girly night!

Hurtful Healing

It seems as though this weekend I have come to a very painful conclusion that in order for things to heal sometimes we have to hurt a little bit more and a little bit longer. I am doing my best to turn to the Lord, but He feels so far away. It has been so long since I have just sat and talked to Him and I am really beginning to realize that the reason things are so hard on me right now is that I am and have been trying to go at everything alone. The stupid thing is, I know this doesn't work and yet it seems as though I have a morbid self mutilating habit of turning my back on Jesus when I need him most.

I will talk to Jesus, and I will seek Him. I will dive into The Word, and I will allow the Lord to feed and replenish my soul. I can't do this alone and I am done trying to.

Saturday

Another Saturday is here. As I sit and sip my morning coffee and look around our apartment, I am reminded of all that needs to be done. Normally I am not taken hostage by the couch when it comes to cleaning and organizing and am pretty good about doing a little bit at a time, but right now I am failing to break free! Why am I so unmotivated! I know I will feel so much better when it is all just done.

I think that I am going crazy not being able to rearrange anything. All my life I have been able to do this, and now because of the space we have and the things we have in our space, I can't change it up at all, and it's driving me NUTS!!!

Goal: To get my booty up and "do work!"

I will have to let you know later if this happens, as of now, it's not looking so good! This better change though because I have a friend coming this afternoon! Yay for company, boo for getting the place ready! Yay for how I will feel when it is done! Boo for having to do it!

Until my next pity party. You stay classy cyber space!

Motorcycle? Yes Please!

From the very first time Terrence ever got on a bike he has wanted one of our own. Well actually he always dreamed of having one when he was a kid, and now finally it is about to be a dream come true. He has been looking around a lot and finally found a Kawasaki kx450f that seems like it will be a great fit for us.

I must admit that I am totally stoked about owning our very own bike! And now we have two in the family which makes it possible to all go up and go riding together again. It has been a while since we have been able to do that and I really can't wait until next summer. I really want to go camping as much as possible and spend a lot of time riding!

We are hoping to get up to Denver to look at it on Friday sometime and hopefully will come home with a new toy! I really love seeing how excited Terrence is about it. Funny thing is, he thinks he will be better than me. Right, that is gonna happen ;-) Not if I can help it anyway.

Time

I read a quote yesterday, I don't know who said it, but I loved it. "Give time, time." What an amazing concept. For me patients is something that doesn't exactly come naturally. I am always trying to get the things that I want in life as fast as I possibly can and I love change. In this way Terrence and I differ immensely. And although he doesn't understand my need to rearrange furniture or change things without warning, he is very sweet and welcoming of the changes that I feel like I have to make or I am going to go crazy.

I have been really wanting to rearrange things and don't know what to do because with the furniture that we have in the space that we have, we really don't have many options. This is extremely difficult for me. I am used to being able to change things up whenever I feel the erg and this is killing me. Terrence doesn't get it, but he just smiles and offers to help move things around and see how it looks which I find cute and rather endearing really.

Oh the things that flutter through my married domestic mind. At least my trying to be domestic mind.  I will update about the anxiety of not being able to change things around in our little apartment. Hopefully we can figure somethings out before I go nut-zo!!!

I know that in time we will be buying a house, and starting a family, and I will have the room to change things up whenever I feel the erg, but I am really feeling like it will never come. I suppose I just need to, "Give time, time."

Leaves are Falling and so am I

I can't believe the beauty that surrounds me everyday when I wake up. Living in a place where magnificent views are around every corner makes it that much easier to be swept away. This season has been beautiful for us! Not only with what has been going on outside and all around us, but also what has been going on inside of us as a couple!

The growth that we have gone through in just the past few months alone has been breath taking. It is almost as if my soul saw how beautiful the leaves are when they change and was envious. When I think about nature and the symbolism that is always surrounding us I find myself being swept away by what the Lord has given to us.

Today I was looking around while we were on a hike in the afternoon sun, which happens to be the time when I usually feel pretty tired, yet also happens to be the time of day when I think that the natural light painted by the sun can make everything look more beautiful than it already is. I began to think about the trees. Then my brain wondered to the leaves. Most of them are beginning to fall to the ground, but before the turned brown and fell to there resting place, they were shades and colors that are only here for a couple of months every year.

Now, this may be weird to most people, but my inner naturalist nerdy self started thinking about the leaves. Before you know it I was comparing my life right now the the leaves of Fall. I thought about how I started out just like a green, brightly colored bud and before long I was a fully budded leaf hanging there blowing in the breeze. Soon I started thinking that I was strong enough to go on alone, without the branches connecting me to the trunk of the tree which was where all of my strength and nutrients came from.

God is feeding me and giving me the strength to grow into the woman and wife that I can only be in Him. He feeds me through the roots that go deep into my being and make me who I am. When I disconnected myself from the Lord, I fell to the ground and began to dry up and slowly crumble.

This is a new day that the Lord has given to us and as this season of our lives begins to unfold before us I feel myself as a women and a wife as well as our relationship beginning to bloom into a beautiful new bud, one that I intend to nurture and cherish as it continues to grow into something amazing.